Our ward decided it would be fun to do an Oscar Night type-thing as a ward, with each group making a 5-7 minute film. Of course, with these kinds of things, it’s really obvious that you need to go with comedy.  Acting is Hard, and if you don’t have the budget for action, horror or what-have-you, they are mortifying in their z-list-ness. So we went with comedy, because if it makes them laugh, no one cares about the other stuff.  That’s the Whole Point of youtube.

In our family-group’s brainstorming session, the idea came up to do FHE office style. A bizarre mockumentry about a fun bit of Mormon culture? That’s the kind of stuff Provoites eat for breakfast. The idea quickly exploded, and I found myself in charge of compiling the script. Note that I said compiling; my job mainly consisted of deciding which parts to leave out.

The actual day of the filming was fantastic; everyone cooperated and listened, but were willing to improvise and improve. Also: it was hilarious.  I cannot tell you how much I’m looking forward to seeing it all edited together. If I fail to snort,  I will be  disappointed. If I fail to Smile– well, lets just say my sense of humor must be broken.

A hollow doll/ With nothing to hide

Rosebud smiles/ and sparkling eyes

Made of glass/and painted lies

Porcelain girl/ flesh and blood world

She looks like an angel

But there’s no life inside

Porcelain girl/ with too much to hide

Rosie cheeks/ and hands so chill

Like a star/ distant and still

China doll/high on the shelf

Scared she’ll break/ and see herself

Porcelain girl/ flesh and blood world

She looks like an angel

But there’s no life inside

Porcelain girl/ with too much to hide

She’s empty, so empty

Porcelain girl

~~~~~~~~~~

Well, that’s kinda depressing. Good song though, If I do say so myself.

• Dryers should have a pillow-fluffing/ de-linting cycle. Unless they already do. Must research.
• Does it ever bother Octopi  how completely freakin’ weird their bodies are? Eight legs with suckers, a head, no bones, and squishy enough to squeeze through a hole the size of a quarter.  They were probably made fun of in fish school.
• Why is Challah braided?
• I wonder what the final temperature of the universe will be once it finishes undergoing heat-death.
• When did skirts become associated with femininity? The Egyptian men wore kilts, and the Greeks and Romans wore togas. The Scottish still wear kilts, and looks stylish to boot.
• Do albino bats exist? I can’t imagine it would be a very good environmental adaptation. (Just Googled it; evidently they do. They look kind of freaky.)
• Roses look prettiest when they’re half-blown.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.  ~Don Marquis

One of the greatest labor-saving inventions of today is tomorrow.  ~Vincent T. Foss

You may delay, but time will not.  ~Benjamin Franklin

Someday is not a day of the week.  ~Author Unknown

Procrastination is opportunity’s assassin.  ~Victor Kiam

If you want to make an easy job seem mighty hard, just keep putting off doing it.  ~Olin Miller

The habit of always putting off an experience until you can afford it, or until the time is right, or until you know how to do it is one of the greatest burglars of joy. Be deliberate, but once you’ve made up your mind -jump in. ~ Charles R. Swindoll

And the apples are ripe on the trees

Leaves crunch when I walk

And the last, golden sunflower

Sits beaming on my kitchen table

• Coca-cola
• McDonalds
• Pizza Hut
• Carl’s Jr.
• Wendys
• Burger King
• Sizzler
• Golden Corral
• Red Lobster
• Chili’s
• In-N-Out
• Chuck-A-Rama
• And so forth

And I wondered: ‘Why is red so appealing?’ It’s not limited just to restaurants; there’s Target, K-mart, Macy’s, Shell, The Red Cross and even Walgreens.

It’s the color of love, but also the color of war. It means injury, anxiety and danger, but it’s also associated with Christmas, Valentines and warmth.  It evokes fire and flowers and fruit, and after the rise of socialism, red has been used to describe revolutionary movements.

Some ancient cultures, such as the Chinese and Egyptians practiced chromotherapy, where red was used to stimulate the body and mind, thought it increase circulation. Rather  more recently, researchers discovered that the color red can cause people to react more quickly and forcefully.

Red is dynamic, exciting, implying life and action, and all the usual messyness that comes with it. It’s scarlet and crimson and ruby and rose. it’s diverse, multi-layered and fascinating, and most of the time, we never even register it.

I guess what I’m trying to say, is just stop and notice something today.

That one’s on the house.

I can’t really walk. I waddle from place to place, wincing and grimacing, my face contorting comically. I can feel my heart beat in my feet sometimes, and it’s positively discombobulating.

One of the blisters on my heel has a large pit in it, the origin of which I remain unsure of, and my feet just ache in general.

Really, really, really, do NOT walk on hot, or warm or any kind of asphalt barefoot.

Kami looked up. “Yeah. Okay.”

“No really, I was reading in my abnormal psychology text book, and apparently, eccentric people are bad spellers!”

“Therefore I’m eccentric? Okay.”

“But you’re also curious and intelligent and huh… Weird eating habits? Well, you did eat that gross celery.”

“But the main argument is that I’m a bad speller?”

“No, it’s that you’re a PHENOMENALLY bad speller.”

“True.”

__________

**No, I’m not really eccentric, but, this conversation amused me.

And with that, I present a bunch of random poems. Enjoy.

Blogging in 3 Lines

Stare at the window,

Tapping the keys, wondering

What to write about

~*~

Future Nostalgia

It’s late and the Christmas tree,

still up two months later,

casts a soft dull glow.

The coffee table’s piled high,

with papers and empty mugs.

We laugh as we talk about Freud

Groan and throw pillows at bad puns

And doodle on our notes

It’s kind of tragic

These nights have to end.

~*~

TO A GOLDFISH

Such a small small world, in your little bowl.

Do you mind much?

What do you think about?

They say you can’t remember more than three seconds.

I guess that would keep it from getting boring.

~*~

Bonfires

I’m burning so much paper;

Flat Black Ink to Soft Grey Ash

I write what I think but can’t say

pain-sorrow-inadequacy-tinted-with-anger

And I burn it so No-one will see

it helps, I guess; Making it disappear-

dissipate, fade like smoke.

so: Put on my warpaint

Make ready with the matches

I have so much paper to burn